July 4, 2003

• I haven't been able to get here for ages, kept getting Page cannot be displayed messages. When this is a service I pay for, I can't help but getting pissed about it.

  
  

  Thank you to those of you kind enough to comment or send me messages saying I was missed. Makes a gal feel good!

  
  

  The funniest thing happened last week.  We were having corn on the cob with our dinner. Divy was loathe to stop long enough to eat, as usual. We had told him he couldn't play until he ate some of his food. He sat there for a long time, slowly getting a bit of his meat ate up. Now we never force kids to 'eat everything on their plate', but we do want them to eat something. At least enough to keep a bird alive.

  
  

  Suddenly Annie jumped up, and ran down to our room. Div had gotten up, but I ASSumed he was going for a pee, like he does most meals. For whatever reason, he likes to use our bathroom. Luckily she had noticed that the corn had gone to the bathroom with him, and mysteriously not come back when he did. The little turkey had FLUSHED his corn down MY toilet!! TG it was only half a cob, but still, bigger than the typical turd. It disappeared and the toilet worked the rest of the evening, so we were hoping all was well. Not so.

  
  

  For the next day, our toilet wouldn't flush. I wonder why? When Steve got home he went to work. Plunging of course had no results. He ended up taking the toilet off and emptying it, into MY shower. Then he could actually see the cob, stuck somewhere. I wasn't getting that close to the inner workings of a toilet to find out exactly where. He tried to get a grip on it with his hand. Nope, not grab-able.

  
  

  Then he digs out the tools. Meaning an unbent wire hanger. Next, one of  my paring knives. Still no freeing of the cob. Ok, time for drastic measures. He figures he can blast it out. Literally. He takes the friggen toilet outside. To sit on MY front lawn. He then goes and gets his power washer. All the while, there sits my crapper. Did I mention it was sitting on MY front lawn? Oh, I did. Why not the back yard you may be asking. Funny, I asked myself the same thing.

  
  

  Crowds gather as he gets busy blasting hell out of the corn cob caught in my crapper. Or maybe it just seemed that way. People out for an evening stoll slow down and gawk, and neighbours seemed caught in a spell of sorts, watering the same area until it is afloat with water as they watch the unfolding drama. One is brave enough to come over and chat about what is happening. Steve showed considerable restraint I thought, as he didn't tell him to piss off.

  
  

  Water blasting didn't budge the bugger. Back to the heavy duty plumber tools. Meaning the paring knife. I suppose the water, coat hanger and knife combined worked magic, cause suddenly there appeared a perfect fat half corn on the cob. Looked almost good enough to eat.

  
  

  I forgot to take pictures.

  • 12:52 pm
  • 14 Comments